Tales from the 13th: “Sometimes, faith steps in” (Where Bruises Go)

When Eric was born, he was baptized in the Lutheran faith, as that was the faith of his father and his family. However, he spent the weekends with his maternal grandmother from the time he was three. She was a devout Catholic and would take him to church every Saturday at 5 pm. He didn’t know what was going on, and she told him to be quiet, as they were in a house of God. To keep him calm, she would give him her Rosary. It was broken, depending on how you looked at it, on the second decade, on the fourth bead, or the fourth decade after the seventh bead. When he finally learned how to recite the Rosary, he always took it as the fourth. It meant that he said the more extended partition first.

            She wasn’t indoctrinating him; she just brought him to Mass and taught him that before bed, they said the Guardian Angel prayer and “Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep.” They would say that, and then do their exercises. They would raise their legs and mimic riding bicycles. Although she had given him her Rosary to keep him occupied, he wasn’t playing with it. Something in him told him it was a matter of respect. He would lay it out and count the beads; however, it was never played with or swung around. It was while they were lying there, talking before they fell asleep, that he asked her about it. That’s when she taught him how to pray the Hail Mary.

            They worked on it together, saying repeatedly, along with the Our Father, until he understood them. It took weeks because Deanna didn’t keep up with him on the religious aspect; he was Lutheran after all. Learn the Rosary he did, to an extent. He knew the right beads to pray on, but they had yet to cover the Mysteries, or the Fatima prayer. They continued attending Saturday Mass together until they moved in with her. Then it was very rare that he got to go with her. He wasn’t sure if it was his mother or father who frowned upon it, but something was changing within him.

            He thought long and hard about his life. Between Deanna telling him that a watermelon was growing and about to explode in him, and Eric Sr. telling him that every breath he took brought him closer to death, he had to face mortality. He was going to his mother’s school, St. Thomas, and the first class they always had was religion. He was learning more and more about God every day. He kept thinking about Heaven, and hell, and how it related to him. Then he made up his mind. Before he was six, and just before Thanksgiving, he asked his parents a crucial question. He told them that, for Christmas, he wanted only one thing. He wanted to be baptized Catholic. 

            They asked him if that was what he wanted, to which he replied with an astounding “yes.” Seeing that they were going to have one child, they might as well do both. Denny was still just over a year old at the time. He was proud of himself because he was finally going to be like his mother and grandmother. However, the word soon spread, and Mrs. Hudson had called him to speak to the class. He was already in trouble and forced to stand at the shelves when she did. He thought he was in trouble again, but she singled him out to tell them that he was Lutheran and why he chose to be Catholic. He didn’t like being put on the spot or having his decision put on display like that.

            The end of January came, and that was the first opening they had for the baptism. His Uncle Lewis became his Godfather, while his father’s sister, Kate, was the Godmother. He was now happy to be Catholic. That means he could start receiving the other Sacraments in second grade. He wanted to complete them all somehow. There was a problem with receiving Holy Orders when he wanted to grow up and get married. He knew, from looking at all the pornographic magazines his father had, that he wanted to have sex.

            Second grade came, and so did his learning about Reconciliation. He was told that by doing it, he’d find peace. That the word sorry was powerful. He started using that word more frequently at home, but it meant nothing to Deanna and Eric. Cafferty was so wrong, as the beatings he received seemed so much worse. He was, as he was taught, repentant that you would be forgiven. Still, he continued onward and received the Sacrament. He wanted to do it for the first time behind the screen, but the priest insisted that he do it face-to-face. It didn’t help that the holy man was positioned to see who the child was when they entered the Sacristy.

            They took him out for pizza afterwards, and he still felt the same. He had given a heartfelt confession, pouring his heart out, but because of his parents, he would always feel guilty. He was blamed for everything and felt like it was all his fault. This would be something that carried over into adulthood, as he would always apologize for something he hadn’t done. Deanna even had a trick; she’d tell him that she’d received a call from school and that she knew what he’d done that day. Naturally, she had no clue, but still believing the mother, he would confess to anything that could be deemed harmful.

            This would backfire on her one time. It was his junior year in high school, and out of the blue, the phone rang. Now it was his job to answer so that he could screen out debt collectors. That fateful night, he received a call from his geology teacher, Mr. Fitzpatrick. Surprised by the phone call, as he was passing his class with As, he didn’t know what he could have done wrong. Giving her the phone, she went into the garage and took the call. He went to his room, racking his brain for what he could have done that warranted the call. When it ended, she stormed into his room, demanding that he fess up to what he’d done. He had no clue, but she kept saying he told her he had better tell her, or the beating would be worse.

            After ten minutes of belittling him and telling him that she “Knew when her children were lying to her.” He couldn’t admit to something that he didn’t do. He had been keeping his nose clean; his grades were straight As, except for gym, and the call made no sense. That was when she finally admitted that Mr. Fitzpatrick only called because he was tired of giving bad reviews to parents. Eric’s name was next on the list of students, and he figured that he’d call and give an outstanding review. He was pleased with what her son was doing in class and thought she should be aware of it. 

            While he only attended Catholic school for 8.5 years. He had to leave St. Peregrine’s for two reasons. One, he was constantly getting into fights, and the other, Deanna, couldn’t afford half of her tuition. She waited till Eric Sr. paid off his half, then took him out of school and kept the money. She attempted to gaslight him, even then, when he was there at the time; his father paid his share off. This wasn’t the first time she had kept money. She asked Eric if he wanted to have an eighth-grade graduation party, so that he would get more money that way. Piqued that he would get more money, he leapt at the chance.

            He asked for it to be at his favorite restaurant, The Old Warsaw Inn, which was a smorgasbord, and he figured people could eat their fill with many different options. The day came, and Deanna was livid that Eric had invited his father to the event. He didn’t understand why. When his paternal grandparents and Uncle Mick were going to be there, it made no sense, and he got beaten for the action. The party went on, and he received numerous checks and cash. Deanna was careful to hold onto all of it so that he wouldn’t lose the kitty. She was insulted and rubbed her son’s nose after his father thanked her for the party. She expected him to pay half.

            Even though she had never spoken to him about it, she expected it. She paid for the tab, and they went home. She then deposited the money. He went through magazines and catalogs, wanting to buy things for himself. He didn’t want to seem greedy, so he chose carefully. When the time came, and he finally decided on what he wanted, he received nothing but disappointment. She told him that there was no money when he asked how; she snapped at him. Deanna told him that the money was used to pay for his party. That he wasn’t expecting her to pay for it. Defeated, he walked away. His party, which would only cover the food and drink, certainly didn’t cost more than he had. But it didn’t matter; she kept the money.